Hey Clove, I Remember Your Name
by ClatoForever98
Summary: *Song-fic for Hey Lucy. Artist- Skillet.* AU- Clove died at the Cornucopia from a rock to the head from Thresh. Cato ended up winning instead of Katniss and Peeta. Now he has to deal with the guilt of letting the girl he loved die.


_Hey Clove, I remember your name… _

Winning the Hunger Games was the hardest thing he ever did. Not competing. After he finally drove the sword through twelve's chest and the trumpets blared, he didn't whoop and holler like the careers who won in the past. He stayed silent as he dropped his sword to the ground and was frozen into place as the hovercraft brought him up.

Now, five years later, he was married. His wife was largely pregnant, with a little girl. They're naming her Clove. After Cato's first love.

He's never forgotten her. Every time he sleeps, haunting nightmares take him back to the arena. He's watched Clove killed by Thresh over and over. Only sometimes is he graced with the dreams of Clove before the Hunger Games. Her dark brown hair and how it framed her pale, perfect face, the way she looked like when she laughed.

Yes. He'll always remember her name.

_ I left a dozen roses, on your grave today…I'm in the grass on my knees, wipe the leaves away…I just came to talk for awhile… I got some things I need to say…_

Cato visits Clove's grave once a month, bringing a dozen red roses every time. It gets harder every to go with every visit. Now every time he goes he's brought to tears.

He kneels down by the small, smooth stone and brushed the crisp autumn leaves off of it. Seeing her name etched into the white marble made his breath hitch in his throat. No. He had to do this.

"Clove… I wanted to tell you something. We've decided to name our baby after you." Cato's eyes filled with tears.

"I know I should be happy but I'm not… I do love my wife, and I know I'll love my daughter, but… I'll never love them as much as I loved you. God, I miss you so much…" A tear ran down his face as he slowly stood up.

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her; I'd give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking back at me…Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her, I've gotta live with the choices I made, and I can't live with myself today…_

When he got back to his house, his wife wasn't home. He slowly walked up the steps of his house in Victor's Village and went to the room with the locked door. He slid the key out of his pocket and pushed the door open. It was a small room, only a chair, a desk, and a lamp was in it.

He sat down in the desk chair and slid open the top drawer. In it was a large picture of Clove that her older brother gave to him. It was her a year before she died, and it was a fuzzy picture of her as she laughed. Her dark brown hair was curled and her beautiful hazel eyes were sparkling. Her mouth was in a wide smile, just as he always remembered it to be.

He cursed as more tears fell down his face. If only he could've told her how much he really loved him… If only he'd gotten to the clearing in time to save her… If only he'd gotten the chance to really show he loved her… But no. He was stupid and left her alone. It was his fault.

He tries to live with it… People tell him his choices were right: He might not have won if he did get to the clearing in time.

But he didn't care. He shut the drawer and took the picture to his wife and his room and set it up on his bed side table.

Guilt crashed through his body. He really couldn't live with himself today.

_ Hey Clove, I remembered your birthday…They said it'd bring some closure to say your name…_

He sat at the table with the lights off. His wife had just given birth to the daughter that they named Clove. Coincidentally, she was born on the girl she was named afters' birthday.

It killed him. It really killed him to stand in that hospital when all he could think of was his Clove. His wife understood his pain, and after the baby was born, she told him to go back home and mourn. She also said to say her name. He hasn't spoken it, other than when he's at her grave, since the day she died.

So there he was. He picked up a small cake on the way home with white frosting. It was always a favorite of Clove's. He repeated her name over and over.

It didn't work. There was no closure.

So there he sat. In their kitchen, uneaten cake in front of him, with the lights off. God, he missed her so much.

He got up and threw the cake away and went up to his room.

_I know I'd do it all different if I had the chance…But all I got are these roses to give, and they can't help me make amends! Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her… I'd give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking back at me, now that it's over… I just wanna hold her… I've gotta live with the choices I made, and I can't live with myself today._

He tried to listen to everyone else telling him to move on. How could he move on when he was stupid enough to let her die? Her death was his fault. He couldn't live with himself today. He closed his eyes and drifted into sleep.

_Here we are! Now you're in my arms! I never wanted anything so bad. Here we are! For a brand new start! Living the life that we could've had. Me and Clove walking hand in hand, me and Clove never wanna end! Just another moment in your eyes; I'll see you in another life, in heaven where we never say goodbye!_

He dreamt of Clove. God graced him with a good—no, amazing—dream of her. They were in heaven, and he finally got to hold her again. They walked hand and hand while Clove showed him the life they could've had.

At the end of the dream she told him not to worry… Not to mourn over her anymore… She wanted him to be happy and love his wife and daughter. She told him that he'll see her in another life. Heaven, to be exact; she told him it was a place where they'll never say goodbye.

_Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her, I'd give up all the world to see that little piece of heaven looking back at me! Now that it's over, I just wanna hold her, I've gotta live with the choices I made, and I can't live with myself today! _

_ Here we are, now you're in my arms, here we are for a brand new start! I've gotta live with the choices I made, and I can't live with myself today!_

When he woke up, he started sobbing… Now that his dream was over, he wanted nothing more than to hold her in his arms again. He knew he'd give up everything he had to see her again.

He closed his eyes and remembered the dream, the feeling of her in his arms, and how she told him that this was their brand new start. He knew what she meant. She wanted him to live with the mistakes he made. She wanted him to move on.

But he can't. He still can't live with himself.

_Me and Clove walking hand in hand, me and Clove never wanna end! Got to live with the choices I've made, and I can't live with myself today! _

He kicked the wall in frustration. Did Clove not understand that he really can't live with himself for what he did? His thoughts flickered back to the dream when they were walking hand in hand.

She forgives him. That should be enough.

He prayed it would be.

_Hey Clove, I remember your name…_


End file.
